


Gliding

by GraarPlacemat



Series: Zombies Are Gross [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ice Skating, M/M, previous sister/sarge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 15:55:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2657828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraarPlacemat/pseuds/GraarPlacemat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt "Sarge and Donut go ice skating. Sarge isn't very good at it."<br/>Now something of a prequel to the rest of the "Zombies Are Gross" series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gliding

**Author's Note:**

> Another little practice with the RvB crew. As a note, I'm currently taking (short) requests on my Tumblr! Message me at missplacemat if you'd like to request something.  
> Also... the Spanish is taken from what little I remember from when I took classes for it three years ago, so it might not be that good ^^; If you see any glaring errors, feel free to point them out!

Sarge Gunner had never been one for ice skating. Not when he’d been small and his mother had forcibly signed him up for youth hockey despite his singular interest in football, not when he’d been slightly less small and his foolish, giggly friends had dragged him to a frozen pond, not even when he was as large as he was ever going to be and his ex-wife insisted that their sons needed time to bond with both parents at once. What could he say? He was a man with a one-track mind, and that one track consisted of turf and tackling and broken teeth, not frilly maneuvers on two spindly little blades that were far too unstable for his comfort.

Kaikaina - his aforementioned, significantly younger, ex - was blathering on about this, that, and the other thing as they entered the ice arena’s lobby and he plotted his escape. The kids(who he called Lopez and Dos-point-O, although their birth certificates argued with him) raced forward and hopped on the bench to put their skates on.

“Oh, and Dexter and Dick are gonna stop by on Tuesday so you should probably bring them around. I was thinking of inviting that cute skate instructor, too, but I figured you should at least meet him and stuff first -”

Sarge grunted in confusion.

“You know, stupid! The one I was talking about on the way here, the one you totally should fuck -”

A passing mother sent them a dirty look at Kaikaina’s use of language. The duo ignored her; it was what they did best.

“- because he’s, like, young and not all bitter about life like you are. He’d be good for you. Old geezer.”

“Harlot,” he retorted. Kaikaina didn’t pay it any mind - which was perhaps the one thing he actually liked about her. Why did he marry her, again?

“Mirame, Papa!” Dos-point-O called.

“Tu eres estupido si tu pienses que el va a cuidar,” Lopez muttered under his breath.

Oh, right. Them. Where did they learn Spanish, again?

Kaikaina was pressing something into his arms. Ice skates.

“What the devil has gotten into your head, woman?” Sarge scoffed. “I don’t fool with this skating nonsense. I’m a grass and dirt man. Red blooded, through and through.”

Kaikaina rolled her eyes. “What in the hell did you think ‘family skate’ meant? We’re all going out there. That’s where you meet Mr. Donut and ask for his number. Don’t fuck him there, though. I’ve tried that whole deal, and I’ll tell ya, it didn’t end well.”

“You’re diabolical,” Sarge informed her. “If you think I’d be caught dead out there on those tools of evil, you’ve got another think coming.”

“You’re going.”

“You can’t make me.”

“Yeah, probably not,” Kaikaina conceded, grinning. “But, hey, it’s not like I won’t have help.”

And, as if right on cue, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned and found himself staring straight into - or, well, that wasn’t the right description. After all, absolutely nothing about this situation was at all straight.

“Well, I’ll be!” exclaimed the blond, his already huge blue eyes widening in excitement. “It looks to me like we’ve got ourselves a new skater!”

“Oh, totally, Franklin,” Kaikaina provided, “He’s as green as… well…”

“A newly outed preteen?”

Kaikaina and Sarge both blinked. “Not what I had in mind, but. Sure. Yeah.”

“Well, I’ll do what I can to make sure you don’t fall too often! Taking it that hard right in your rump can be very exhausting when you’re not prepared for it!”

Despite himself, Sarge felt his face grow warm. “No need to be so forward,” he grumbled quietly.

Franklin’s attention was already elsewhere. “Well, hello there, Luis, Leandro! And how has your week been?”

“Fantastico!” Dos-point-O(Er. Leandro.) crowed. “Soy el presidente de mi clase!”

Luis shrugged. “So-so.”

“Well, Luis, I hope that whatever dragged your week down doesn’t bother you here. Remember, you can always talk to me if you need it!”

Luis scowled at him, but only briefly. When Franklin raised his eyebrows questioningly, a tiny - but genuine - smile flashed across Luis’s face.

Sarge was half convinced that the world was coming to an end.

“How in Sam Hale did you do that?!” he ejaculated, and Luis dropped back into his typical half-apathetic, half-murderous expression. “I can’t get Lopez to stop joking around and give me a smile worth nothing!”

Franklin chuckled, and Sarge was momentarily distracted by how the light flush of his cheeks matched the pale pink scarf looped around his neck perfectly. “Why don’t we get your skates on, and I’ll help you with that.”

Kaikaina was smirking and waggling her eyebrows playfully from where Franklin couldn’t see. Sarge, in spite of himself, couldn’t bring himself to care.

(He may or may not have cared slightly more after the tenth time he fell flat on his face, but at least he was glad for the excuse to cling to Franklin’s hands as they slowly made their way around the arena.)

 


End file.
